void

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The distance is killing her.

Before, she could just live with those little moments he’d be gone—at least those were one-time things and he would always return with his cheeky grin, assuring her that all her worries are for naught.

But now he has become even more distant with all his “preoccupations”. Preoccupations she admits she does not have the slightest care for. And it's gotten worse (for her anyway) that more of her friends are joining the bandwagon.

Of course he still returns to them (to her) with the same coolness like nothing has changed despite all the little things that interrupt them in between. But their conversations are getting more disjointed now that she has her own set of priorities while he has his own new commitments that sometimes she feels lost and backs out, letting the others talk to him just like before.

Sometimes she feels they know him better than her. And it’s painful, yes, to realize that but what can she do?

She does not like to think she misses him—for to say that she misses him would mean she acknowledges the growing dent in a relationship that wasn’t even stable to begin with. And she’s stubborn like that; she will not admit that something is terribly, terribly wrong with this. With them.

So while they continue to be engrossed with things, they continue to stay apart, and she continues to be at the sidelines, just like before she ever became an integral part of his world.

She always knew how it would feel like being close to the stars but not really touching them at all. And all she can think of is why bother, why bother...

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Iloilo! <3

Featuring the WIDEST, BIGGEST, most awesome iPAD in history. 

like a child

It was a "bloody" three-day activity---an assessment and planning exercise on a million-peso development project can be very draining.

But at the end of the day, it never felt like work at all. Not when you know you're working for something beautiful.

And not when you could squeeze a morning just enjoying the little things in life, like a child. <3

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ms vicky!

My special moment with THE Vicky Sandidge of Bohol Bee Farm.

It is just so inspiring to listen to her as she shares her experience on social entrepreneurship.

She developed her seven-hectare pure organic empire purely from passion.

And she even left us one thing to ponder on: 

"It is good that Filipinos now love to travel around their own country."

So there goes my plans to go out of the country--not until 

I've thoroughly experienced the beauty of the Philippines first. :)

Thank you for the wonderful insights, ms vicky! :)

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cakes, cherries, macaroni, atbp.

hommemade goodies for my brother's birthday celebration. :-)

food for the goats 101

As part of our goat production and management seminar, we taught our communities in barangays Buhisan and Toong how to make preserved goat food. A barrel will feed a goat (weighing 30 kg) for approximately 10 days.
The advantage of this technology? Farmers need not feed and look for food for their goats all the time. And, when food sources go scarce, this will serve as a reserve (it spoils after two years).
After this seminar, each people's organization will be provided with startup capital and at least 12 goats as their additional means of earning income.  

wacky

Striking a candid pose with the barangay officials after my interview with these passionate people.

Taken during a seminar on how to prepare and enact an ordinance. :)

unforgettable

i just love thisss.

jeffrey buttle and mao asada skate to "unforgettable".

taken during the ice 2012 show.


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fullish <3

It comes to you unexpectedly. It always does.

I had my 25-year existence to vouch for that. Observing, listening, experiencing it firsthand.

You sleep in the most hidden corner for days, months, years. You sneak in alleyways that never saw the light of day. 

You may live in the most uninhabitable place ever discovered by humankind. You may not believe in it at all.

But love will always find a way to find you.

Thank you for making my days colorful, for having something else more to look forward to.

For raising the adrenalin in my blood. For creating a flush to my cheeks. For making my heart beat so fast, for making my skin tingle at your slightest touch.

Thank you for making me feel so alive.

I love you.

Calibre, here I come!

Mmm, the amount of books I will be joyfully reading once I convert them all to PDF babies.
Yesssssss. <3

dawn of the freebird

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I do not understand the concept of letting go that much, not when you do not need to do it in the first place. To give up something even if it pains you just for the sake of somebody else's happiness will make you a martyr. To give up something when nobody gains happiness from it, and to give up something when it could've been stopped will make you less of a martyr and more of a fool. But to give up on something only to end up saying "if only" and "what could have been" will make you the stupidest--and saddest--of all.
I do not wish to belong to the latter.

Life does not allow you to have it all for the sake of fairness. To get to where I am now, I've given up a lot of things along the way. Let go of big career opportunities, gave up on some I thought to be friends, gave up chances for a better life for something else that makes me more content--and less guilty.

And most of all, I've let go of love. And I'm not alone in this one. Ever.

But sometimes, it makes you think: life could've been fair. You see, I may not be even moved to let go of you if you told me you loved me in the first place, too. We may not even have to wait years for us to finally admit it, that long a time for the feelings to only remain as a potent ache because the love is gone but it stings because it got harshly revived with the thought of "what could be."

But it will only remain a potent ache, because it's too late. We may have loved each other before, and I may still love you now. And that wouldn't be enough. Because circumstances are different. You're already tied to somebody else. And I can not keep on waiting for you until forever. And isn't that unfair?

But I realize, after all these, after a friend of mine told me her news, that life is never a one-way process. If we speak of love, especially, it will always go two-way. I do not fret over my life right now, seeing that I'm well aware of the choices I made and understood the consequences I would face. But this is because I did not consider love (never again).

But this...her situation is a different matter altogether. For my friend, she could not change anything if the other one has made his stand. but he didn't. And now, after years moving on, hge pops a simple phrase that changed more than what my friend could take. (And I hate this man for that.) If only...

See? They would have been happy, until now. I would have looked up to them. Then I would not have to face this problem. And I would not think of it, or write about it.

Her experience gave me a lesson. If I hate being kept in the dark, especially when it concerns me, then the same might apply for others.

So from now on, I will tell you what I feel. I will tell you what to expect from me. I will be honest. And I will tell you I love you if I do. Because, at the end of the day, being hurt by your unintentional (and honest) rejection is better than dwelling on what-ifs for years and years to come. But do not forget that I told you so I could blackmail you into loving me in return. No, that's not it. You will only know someone thinks fondly of you--you deserve to know that. That your kindness made an impact on someone's life. That by just being you, you drew them to you...made them fall in love with you.

And at the end of the day, isn't it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

And for this friend of mine, who I tried to console over a KFC meal in not-so-scenic-for-an-epic-movie-in-the-works IT Park, I will tell you this: I will not let you go. I will continue to treasure you together with all the friends I love and I will not let time or circumstance set us apart. I may not be able to be there for you all the time--as there are times work really gets in the middle--but when I say I'll be there for you, that I have ears to listen, a heart to empathize with, a soul to bond with, a shoulder to cry, I mean it. With all that I have, as the greatest friend I want to be for you.

We already gave too much on love. Let's not give up this one--this one that will not allow us to say "what could've been." And maybe, we will both be free from this.
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lss.

2m

Reggie Marie B. ‏@guramiii

Ceremonials has been on repeat for at least 10 times (I think) today. Talk about additction. <3 F+tM

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via twitter.com

Is shamelessly addicted to Ceremonials by Florence + the Machine. Chills. Just arresting music. No Light, No Light is my favorite.

The Scale of the Universe

via htwins.net

Chills. I am even lesser than a mote in this universe.

a valentine seed

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Please welcome the new addition to our Giraffes family, SEED! He was born this Valentine's Day. :)

It was such an amazing experience to really see how a batchmate of mine--who you've known for years--became such a graciously loving mother. Ah, the gift of creation.

Of course, I got too trigger-happy and documented as much as I could. Well, if the baby's this cute (ahem, MY grandson), who could resist? :)

Our baby SEED! :)

a google valentine's

via google.com.ph

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Oh, Google. You never cease to amaze me.

For this day, Google's logo offering is a video with Tony Bennett's song "Cold, Cold Heart," which talks about a boy who tries to find the perfect gift for the girl he loves, but fails to impress her.

Click on this link to watch the entire video. Or better yet, go directly to google.com to catch it before this day is over!

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! :)

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call for support

Hello friends,

Last February 6, 2012, provinces in the Visayas were rocked by an earthquake with magnitudes ranging from intensity 5 to 7. While a tsunami scare and numerous aftershocks were experienced in Cebu, the city is relatively unaffected. Work and school activities are now in normal flow.

But the neighboring province of Negros Oriental was not as lucky. A total of 10 cities and towns sustained death, casualties and damages to life and property. Some 12,000 families in Negros Oriental are directly affected by the earthquake, according to a February 9 report published on the Philippine Daily Inquirer. On February 8, Inquirer reported that some 45 people were confirmed dead, most of them from barangay Planas in Guihulngan City, the hardest hit area. As per report of the Regional Disaster Risk Reduction and Management Council as of February 7, more than 70 are still missing in Guihulngan City and the town of La Libertad. Irrigation facilities and rice and corn plantations were likewise damaged. As of today, there are seven towns that don’t have electricity, water and access to mobile communication.

In PBSP, our initial response is the allocation of PHP 50,000 for disaster relief operations. We are now requesting more individuals to provide cash and in-kind donations to be provided to the affected families in Negros Oriental, especially those located in Planas and La Libertad.

Funds collected will be used to purchase water, medicine and relief packs following the SPHERE standard to provide caloric requirement for a full week for a family of six consisting of the following: 

• 8 kg of rice
• 1 kg sugar
• ½ kg monggo
• ½ kg dried fish
• ¼ kg salt
• 3 cans of sardines
• 1 pint cooking oil
• 1 bar detergent soap

Please contact us via email at pbspvro@pbsp.org.ph | rbbarrientos@pbsp.org.ph, via landline at (032) 232-5283 or via mobile phone at +639228588506 for details and inquiries. 

For your cash donations, they may be deposited to this account:

Account Name:                    Philippine Business for Social Progress

Account Number:                 000260034010 

Bank:                                   Unionbank Cebu Business Park Branch

Kindly inform us of your cash donation before or after the deposit so we could accordingly acknowledge you. The first round of our disaster relief operations is scheduled next Wednesday, February 15, at the earliest. 

Thank you very much.

 

Coppice-ous wonder

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In all IFS farms I visited, I consider the madre de cacao (Gliricidia sepium) as the centerpiece of it all. A farm, specifically upland farms with contours, must have hedgerows to prevent soil erosion to take place. In past years, farmers (specifically in Dulhogan) usually make riff-raff like hedgerows, but with the madre de cacao, they no longer needed to do this.

These are the reasons that in the IFS technology, the madre de cacao is the prime choice for hedgerows:

• It is a nitrogen fixing plant in itself. Thus, it helps other plants surrounding it to get nutrients for their optimal growth, nitrogen that this tree fixed itself.
• It has high growth rate, and it is also perfect for trapping in/holding soil.
• It also has a high coppicing rate (dali siya manilinsing), especially when you cut off its branches. And with its hard-quality wood, farmers can cut off its branches for firewood AND help it coppice. 

See what a miracle plant this is?

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Backpacking Buhisan 2B: Toong

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Cliffs with grass. A river more than ten feet below, which leads to a waterfall. Fine sunshine. Fine weather. My adventure for this day was shaping up great.

Until my foot slipped on a loose rock of a slope and tripped, bringing Sir Leo with me in the fall. The fact that the farm where it happened was not as steep (thus, no damage has been really done except for a slightly bummed bum and a more bruised ego) did not assuage the humiliation I felt. Of all places, of all those hours of “practicing”, I tripped on a very relatively safe slope. Gah.

This day was intended for the documentation of the remaining individual farmers of barangay Toong, Cebu City. I am particularly excited for this trip because we would be exploring a possible ecotourism site—waterfall, to be precise. Another would the fact that we’d be trailing more ravines in this trip than those two days combined.

This truly was the farthest trail we’ve taken because of those mountains we crossed; the distance from one farmer’s house to the next is twice than the previous trip. It was also on this day that we experienced being rained on while traveling. Fortunately, rain fell exactly when we stopped at a farmer’s house for lunch. When I went inside their home to help prepare the food, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that the farmer’s son is one of the Bosconians who were given trainings on basic carpentry and masonry, a livelihood component we also implemented for this project. Alfred—that’s his name—shared that he was already using the skills he learned in strengthening some posts of their home and is planning to look for work after harvest time. I am glad to find out that the training helped him boost his confidence and that it provided him the security belt he needs for his family.

See more photos on my Posterous

Alfred’s family is one of those who had the largest farmlands to tend. Almost 2/3 of the total farmlands we visited are tenured by them. He joined us for the remainder of our adventure after lunch since he knew the best—and shortest—route from their farm to the falls.

tremor horror

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Last Monday, I was walking back to my office with my co-workers from lunch, just talking about something nonsensical when they both stopped in front of me. A bit clueless as to why they stopped, I was about to ask them if they left any of their things at the canteen when our German co-worker, Janina, suddenly asked: "Did you feel that, too?"

I could only stare at her in befuddlement. I didn't feel anything unusual.

It was only a few hours later, after I've already witnessed how the employees scampered away from our building (right after I realized that I should be feeling something shake because an earthquake just happened), how my panicked officemates trapped in the elevator and stayed in the office shared their stories, how our head office issued a half-day due to the severity of the 6.9-magnitude-earthquake-and-level-2-tsunami-alert situation, how I had to walk from Mabolo to Mandaue because no PUJs are available (and my panicking mom is calling me to come home right now), how my other co-walkers ran without their shoes and with desperation in their eyes because the tsunami is right behind us (and I looked and saw...nothing), how I gave up so many vacant seats for the other passengers to go to Liloan because they are going to die, how blessed I had been because while people were scampering to get a ride home I was actually offered a vacant front seat by a PUJ driver because I just calmly stood there and listened to all the chaos...that this day would never shape up the way I expected it to.

The earthquake had not been so severe in Cebu. Let's pray for our brothers and sisters in Negros, who are more affected than we were, and help in any way that we can.

Today, many of them had no water to use while we await for more aftershocks to happen this week. If you can, please send your help to friends who live or work nearby Negros (like what we did) so they can give your donations to agencies there that are on top of the area's relief operations. A gallon of water costs PHP40.00---imagine what you could do with that amount.

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Backpacking Buhisan 2A: Toong

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The second day of my backpacking trip had the most challenging route I’ve ever taken so far.

Whatever notion I had in my mind that since I had experienced some mountain treks for years I would be totally ready for this certain day, ALL OF IT was wiped out the moment I saw what I was really up to. Also, Buhisan may be part of the entire Central Cebu Protected Landscape but it is totally different from the Mananga Watershed—which I frequent. Buhisan’s mountain ranges are mostly rocky AND slope-y, and if you are not careful, you’d easily slip down and hurt yourself. But with the officers and members of the Toong Volunteer Farmers Association with us, I had enough mental leeway to experience the day meaningfully.

Toong is one of the smaller barangays located within the Buhisan Watershed and Forest Reserve. And since most of its land area is particularly mountainous, most of these locals have to contend to living and establishing farms on slopy areas. It’s amazing how these locals are so used to running on these trails with their big baskets (locally called a bakat) on their backs, relying on nothing but their leg power to ensure their safe and balanced tread back to the barangay proper where they would transport their produce to the marketplace.  And it equally makes you glad that the IFS technology is really intended for these farmlands since its format prevents soil erosion and siltation to the dam.

Compared to Dulhogan, it took us an entire day to monitor and document seven farms—that speaks how far the farms are from each other (we actually crossed more than two mountains). It gave me a complete immersive experience since I had time to rest on some of the houses of our farmers, prepare food and eat with them during lunch (that chicken left a great aftertaste for days) and just listen to their life stories.

See entire gallery on my Posterous

Backpacking Buhisan 1: Dulhogan

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“Wake me up again and I will butcher you with my comb (which happens to be the only thing I could grab in my sleep-induced mind).”

Naturally, knowing how murderous I can be when woken up at a time I do not wish, my younger siblings picked up all the pillows I did not use and made them their shields. I still laugh thinking at that day I was woken up early. But this is not the story you should know.

The day was meant for hard work. A few days earlier, I was commissioned to photograph all the farmers from the Buhisan Watershed and Forest Reserve who we helped improve their farm produce through the Integrated Farming System technology. The concept behind this is simple: they cut the trees and clear large areas of their field because they need livelihood. Through this technology, they do not need to clear more areas of the watershed because they can fully maximize the potential of their farmlands, however small it is. And by harvesting more income-generating crops, less people will cut down trees for additional income. The best part of it all is that the technology utilizes an environment-friendly approach, you have forest and fruit trees as your borders, so, in your own little way, you are contributing to the watershed.

When I say I had to take all individual farmers, I meant every. Individual. Farmer. Wherever their farms may be located (slope-wise, altitude-wise, and length-of-trail-wise). I was apprehensive at my own skills in defying gravity and staying in one place, but I have Sir Leo with me, our technical officer, so it was all good in the end.

Throughout the day, I had to utilize balancing acts, crawl on steep slopes to get better angles of shots and face my fear of heights. Nothing of these things mattered though whenever we meet each farmer who gave me a lot of new discoveries! Like how this barangay, in particular, grow cassava as its major crop since the sloping and weather is perfect for it.

See the full gallery on Posterous

F-STOPS: A Documentary on Fire & Faith

via vimeo.com

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My big, big, BIG congratulations to my dear friends Aldo and Reynan for such accomplishment! :)

Their video documentary, "F-Stops," bagged gold during the recently capped Sinulog 2012 Film Festival!

Other Awards:
Best Video Documentary
Best Story
Best Director
Best in Cinematography
Best Narrator

Full Credits:
Written & Directed by: Aldo Nelbert Banaynal
Narrated by: Reynan Villena
Cinematography: Aldo Nelbert Banaynal & Reynan Villena
Edited & Scored by: Robert Eric R. Bagares
Co Editor: John Lindsey Banaynal
Produced by: Banaynal Bros. Productions & Reynan Villena in cooperation with CreativeCrest Cebu, LENS Association of Cebu Photojournalists, and The Freeman

Kudos, gentlemen! :)