nine

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Day 9. 29 Dec 2013.

eVERything reMINDS ME oF YoU, and I wANt to EScaPE it AlL.


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eight

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Day 8. 28 Dec 2013.

At one point, it was all flowers. They are meticulously arranged, with great care, so each petal and stem and thorn is perfectly seen and perfectly appreciated. In another, it was all flowing lines, like lifestream. It follows no path but it flows freely, like what one’s soul should be in its path to achievement of “greater things.” In here, though, there’s nothing but chaos and discourse—why should it be perfect? Anything I put in there, just to fill the space. Just to perfect the art of preoccupation.


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the bell jar

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"But I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure at all. How did I know that someday--at college, in Europe, somewhere, anywhere--the bell jar, with its stifling distortions, wouldn't descend again?"

- Esther Greenwood (The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath)

 

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seven

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Day 7. 27 Dec 2013.

Sometimes it rains. Sometimes, hope, like a beautiful scene, breaks. Sometimes it turns upside down, but I like it. They’re all in boxes, and they form my life.

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magic

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"Magic is the bloodstream of the universe. Forget all you know, or think you know. All that you require is your intuition."

- Willow, 1988

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green

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Day 6. 26 Dec 2013.

It is surprising how easy it would have been. To let go. You already saw blood, you were yearning for carnage. It was a fury like no other. And yet you held it in with a smile so tame, no one actually knew that what is actually blooming inside you is madness.


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marilyn

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"Here’s what I remember most: her embrace. Her belief in me. And the joy she gave. That was her gift. When I think of her now, I think of that time when a dream came true. And my only talent was not to close my eyes."

- Colin Clark (My Week With Marilyn, 2011)

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holiday cheer

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Day 5. 25 Dec 2013.

Merry Christmas!


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infinite

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"The bluest sky is infinitely high and crystal clear. That is what the world should be--a world of infinite possibilities, laid before us, crystal clear."

- Gentatsu, Rurouni Kenshin the Movie 

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blue

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Day 4. 24 Dec 2013.

Swimming in an ocean of tumulous thoughts, I think of nothing but them. If I could wish for one thing, just for this moment, I wish for an asphyxiation of the brain. Then I would no longer think. Then I would no longer feel and I would no longer care about things I could not—and will never be able to—control.

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believe

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"In a musical, nothing dreadful ever happens."

(Selma Ježková, Dancer in the Dark, 2000)

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violet

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Day 3. 23 Dec 2013.

I feel it burst inside me, like a reckoning. I know it is hard to contain, like an undefinable hunger or thirst for something that has not existed yet.


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unclouded

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Lady Eboshi: What exactly are you here for?

Prince Ashitaka: To see with eyes unclouded by hate.


(Princess Mononoke, 1997)

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orange

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Day 2. 22 Dec 2013. 

As it spilled itself, I was left hanging on a precipice of uncertainty.

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wandering star

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"Does the sun not shine for us all? That question runs endlessly through my mind day in and day out. The man who asked it over a year ago now is dead."

- Wandering Star (J.M.G. L Clézio)

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red

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Day 1. 21 Dec 2013.

I search for eons, I search for stars, and all I see is a big expanse of nothingness.

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